A Lesson Never Learned

I feel like always under my Father's hands, continually under development, continual smashing back down and building back up.

I feel that there are lessons I never learn though. One is with people who don't come to an acknowledgment as I do. I'm someone that if I get corrected my ears perk, I listen, I level it out, and then I respond. I don't get people who don't do the same. And for some reason I don't accept them into my life. I tend to be harsh with them and then put them "in their proper place" in my mind. The last several years have been for me that I have had more than one person like this in my life. Someone who ignores their deeds, but want to make sure you are underneath them. So the wheel spins and I react the same way. Try to hold them accountable at all ends, become angered by their denial and pretending and become more angered. So I keep hitting the brick wall.

Then I feel the wheel turn and my Father's hands start pressing in. It hurts more because I learn once again I'm not getting the lesson. I learn again, I just don't get it. So the wheel is turning, God's hand is moving, but I don't understand the lesson He wants to teach me. Forgivness? Letting go? So many others, but for some reason these are the lessons I don't know how to learn.