Bitterness And Anger Pt. 4: Cleanse Me!

I'm crying tonight. It seems like a cleansing cry. I'm mourning. I'm mourning lost friendships, lost innocence, lost hope and victory.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and fix the damage I have made or prevent damage made by others. I guess we all would if given the chance or maybe not.

I want to be angry at the ones who have damaged me, but there is this other side that wants to love them. Wants to heal them. I know that sounds strange. Especially from what I shared a week ago. I just want to be cleansed and as I'm cleansed I want to walk outside that fountain and see those people at the other end. I want to grab their hand and begin the journey again. That is what I have been so angry about. Sure the gossip hurt, sure the bad words tossed to and fro, the mistrust, but the other side of anger is the realization that there may not be a newness, a new day in the relationship.

So tonight, Oh Lord, as I cry flow your cleansing water over me. Tonight, if only tonight, let me feel the healing river over me. And even Lord, when I wake up in the morning, pass through the fountain, I find myself in the hell I have been struggling with I want to cherish this moment. Father, place a space for this memory in my heart. The memory of hope, the memory of revival, the memory of restoration. And Father with those memories make them visions for the future as well. I love you Lord and thank you for today! Amen