I Quit

Today I decided to quit. I decided that its time for me to lay some stuff down. I have decided to let my anger down. I don't know how I will accomplish this, but I have faith through God to help me. I have decided I'm no longer going to be defined. This brings anger in me. The only one I can trust to define me is God Himself.

I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of pretending, I'm wanting to grow and right now I am not. I am spinning in a circle over and over. Its time to be real about where I am and doing something about it.

Now I'm fearful that this is just more emotion speaking, I pray it is not. I have let myself become trap by something that isn't real and I'm afraid that I will let it continue to happen. Afraid I will let my weariness take over and become lazy. I also fear loss. Loss of myself, people, and support.

Its time to let go again. I don't know for sure if I can completly do it but I think I should. I think its time.

*turns around and looks at the playground* I wonder if it was safe the whole time and I let myself think it wasn't. *smiles* I think I will come back again sometime my friend.