Evil??

I feel evil. Strange to say that but that is how I feel sometimes. Like I do things that are mean and evil, at least to myself they are. I wonder why I do those things sometimes? I'm tired of transitioning. I want some normal stuff. I'm ready to feel and be again. I don't know that I ever will. Don't get me wrong, my life is good. Today I just vegged with my husband it was great and I enjoy laughing with and loving him. We have a good life together, but I wonder what he sees in me. Does he see this bad stuff and just ignore it or does he see it and loves me besides it. I wonder...............

Please pray for me. :) I'm still preparing for this Ladies' Retreat that I know I'm less than qualified to do. I will try and share thoughts as I can. Loves to all.