So the play ground called me and I had to go. I'm running to it actually. I have to get there. The pain of somethings became too much today. I don't want to leave my God. I have no desire to leave what He has called me to do. I have all the desire to run after Him but I'm sitting here wondering why I feel like I have to be the mature one. When do I get to get my way! I want it so bad. Why do people think it is o-kay to use you at their own will and then to not take responsiblity. I told my husband today that I knew that I could see in the Word that we were to go to our brother, forgive and build from there. I have been told today about 2 people I confronted on that there was nothing to work on. It couldn't be worked on any further. So basically, we don't want to acknowledge your hurt and you just go on. So, here I am. I'm on my swing. I can feel it. The acceptance of God there. The love there. The breeze over me and the pit of my stomach falling out as I hit the bottom of the back and forth motion. Its so safe here. No one to interfere. No one to hurt me. I think I will like to stay here. Some where safe. I don't want to work on it today. I don't know that I ever will. hhhhhmmmmm...so safe.......