I Am...

Cordelia Chase! Blake gave me this quote from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and it would be what I would say, but with more words I'm sure. LOL

Giles: Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?
Cordelia: Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass.

touché. It is what I would say for sure. I don't have time for pretense. I would rather be honest and up front with people. I don't have time for games, I used to. I used to play games and I just don't any more. I'm going to tell you what I think and the truth. Although I could flower it up some I find that I, like Cordelia, pass it up. For better or worse at least you know where I'm coming from and at least you know I'm not hiding behind something.

Concert Tonight

So tonight is the night. Alot is going on in my head. There are two songs that I do struggle with so I'm praying for God's grace tonight, that I get the notes and rythem down. I realize learning by hearing has hurt me with these two songs. I think I may have to take some kindof music lesson. I would like to learn notes, ect. Something to look into, I think it would improve my performance and learning curve alot better. I have natural talent, by all pretense, but I don't have the fundementals of it, which I'm now seeing the importance. Anyway, I'm excited, nervous, all those feeling before you do a public deal. LOL

I hope y'all have a blessed weekend!

And They Took A Deep Breath...

Ok, so the sound check/dress rehersal went well. It went better than I thought it would. We did have some problems, but they were easy to correct. Anyway, pray for us tomorrow. :) I would love them! Alot has been on my mind and I'm showing the "wear" of it, as there were times I spaced out and messed up words. Anyway, just pray for a peace of mind, heart and that I let God shine through me as well as the others!

Y'all have been such a blessing to me and I'm so glad to know you will support me even its miles away! :)

Blessings!

Butterflies In The Stomach

So tomorrow is the big day. The benefit concert is here. Wow! I'm so nervous! My stomach is filled with butterflies and I think I want to vomit! (sorry for the tmi) Tonight is a "dress rehersal". Pray for me guys. There are a couple of songs I really struggle through. It sucks because I learn by hearing. Like Mark Lowry says, I don't read music, it looks like a bunch of white and black boys jumping over a fence. And for the most part that is what it is to me. So these towo songs are a challange for that reason. So any prayers you can lift up would be appreciated. I may post later to let y'all know how it the practice. Ok, so deep breath and here we go! aaaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhhh.............. LOL

This Song In My Head

I keep hearing this song over and over in my head tonight:

I Will Never Be


I will never
Be the same again
I can never return
I've closed the door
I will walk the path
I'll run the race
And I will never
Be the same again

Fall like fire
Soak like rain
Flow like mighty waters
Again and again
Sweep away the darkness
Burn away the chaff
And let a flame burn
To glorify Your name

There are higher heights
There are deeper seas
Whatever You need to do
Lord, do in me
The glory of God
Fills my lifeAnd
I will neverBe the same again
And I will never be the same again
© 1996 Word Music

Cease Fire

Hey guys! I just want you to know how much I appreciate your loyality to Blake and myself. It means so much. I just ask that the "fire" cease. I have been lurking the last several days and for the most part I have felt it was/is warrented, but I have to trust in the Lord that the truth will be brought out. I also pray that God will bless you for your loyalty, for being able to see through alot of smoke, and just being great lovers for the Lord and finding His character in all things. Let our words, who we are shine through that.

There was a time at THEOOZE where someone was attacking me and some other mods there. They (the upset poster) had a thread about us, it hurt so much because I knew the truth, but I stood in silence, confided in friends who lifted me up in prayer, and soon enough God was gracious and proved Himself right and glorified. I pray this happens in this situation.

I also know many of you are disillusioned about alot of things. Let me tell you I'm praying for you! I lift you up, because I know what it is like to have a Christian mentor step "out of bounds" and trying to pick up the pieces after the fall. I want to remind you, even the greatest of us fall, its what we do with it after that shows the true heart of the person. Don't be discouraged, but trust in the Lord and know I'm praying for you!

As I have offered before, you can e-mail me any time. My e-mail is in my profile. :) I'm not opening comments on this one and would rather not be any comments on this here. I just wanted to say something since our voice, Blake and my, have been silenced in other places.

I leave with this verse, it is my verse and I love it:

"Yes, Lord, walking in the way of Your laws we wait for You. For Your name and Your renown is the desire of our souls!" IS. 26:8

May it be so with all of us!

Is It Possible?

I have seen alot of conversations happen at TheOOZE. I have been apart of the message board for 3 years now and the web site for 5 so I have seen alot of conversations on intellectualism. Well, its being talked about again. I wonder what will come of it this time.

Its funny the guy who started the thread Rick and I went round and round on this subject a couple of years ago. Its funny what time and growing in the Lord has done for the both of us. Its a testiment to God's love for Hid body to bring unity to even those who would never think they would be in unity. :)

Anyway, I hope y'all pop over there and watch the conversation. If you aren't apart of TheOOZE I encourage you to join in. Its a nutty place and you can find all kinds of stuff and people there. Lurk, share, laugh, cry, whatever, I have yet to see a conversation not tried there so don't be shy!

Oh, and just click on the title to find yourself at the discussion that Rick started or just to check out TheOOZE. :)

C-O-M-M-U-N-I-T-Y,WHAT DO YOU HAVE? PT. 2

The boss peered over the desk at me. I looked down at him and once again looked at the "In" Community and the "Out" Community. I realized that almost every eye was on me, but there was set of eyes that mattered. It was the man behind the boss. I guess he must have been there the whole time and I didn't notice. With being so frantic and trying to decide which Community to be in I realized I never saw him the whole time. I wondered how many other's noticed he was there. As I looked deeper into his eyes I realized it didn't matter who saw him or not, I did. I could faintly hear the boss saying something to the "in" community, but it didn't matter, I was too busy trying to figure out what the man was trying to say to me, I knew he was because I could see his mouth move and the way his eyes would gleam I knew it was important. And then realized what it was and what I had to do. I looked at the boss and said, "I would love to be apart of your community, but I realized that the Founder of the Community never had any of us give resumes. Matter of fact he says the Community is open for all. His son paid the cost and as long as we are go to his office ask for the receipt our standing in the Community is paid in full.", I realized what had come out of my mouth and I quickly put my hand to my mouth, but then I realized the man behind the boss had come to stand by my side. I looked at the boss, my stomach did flip flops, he didn't look happy at all, but didn't say anything at all. I looked at the man finally realizing who it was and with that I tore my resume in half, "I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm just going to be content in being in The Community and whether you offically accept me or not is fine, but I no longer need to find my place, because my place has always been with the Founder after all." I walked away unsure of what I just did and unsure of what was going to happen, I could tell by the way The Founder was looking at me I was about to enter an adventure. I silently said to him, "I don't know how well behaved I will be on this side of the journey. If I get kindof moody about what I just did will you be patient with me?" He smiled at me, I think we both knew the answer.
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From John at Prodigals Journey:

the journey

faith is only valuable in the unkown