So I'm sitting here at work and I'm wondering what is next for us. It looks like my husband is getting a chance to go to Russia, well, the Ukraine to be exact. I'm happy for him. This is his dream, it is what makes his eyes shine. I'm glad for that. So my heart hasn't been in Russia for so long. My heart has been here in the North America. It has been dreaming of the possiblities of being here. Dreaming of a ministry that in the end won't happen. So I'm needing a new heart for Russia. The thought of Russia right now scares me. I don't know that I want to be so far away from our family. I want to serve God and I have said that I will go where ever He wants me to go but right now I'm playing a game I don't need to. I'm asking why me? I'm asking why it is that everyone else gets to live the upper middle class life and I get to learn to lay it all down. I know that sounds silly, what a great thing to do, but to serve my God, my King, but at the same time it is so hard to not want to be a Jones when everyone else around you seems to be that. As I write this my heart knows the truth, being a Jones isn't who I am or what God has made me to be. So what does this tell me? Satan is working on me and so is my flesh. So what does this tell me? Lean on the Father, seek His peace and direction. hhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm............seems so simple..............................