So today I'm asking myself does Abba know best. For months I have been on my knees with God over a certian issue in my life. And he keeps saying to me, "Daughter, I know best." And I get angry and say back, "Do you? Do you know what is best?" And I wonder, when does what he want and I want coexist? Does it ever? When does what I want get heard from him and the faith I have in him count? Small faith is suppose to move mountians. So I keep wondering why my small faith in this matter has been meaningless. So Abba says to me, "Child, I love you and have since you were even a thought to this earth. I know you best. Even better then you. I see the great scheme. I know your heart. I know your hurting and made as hell at me, but I do, I do know best!" And I stomp my foot, become the full on brat I know I am and beg Abba for once to just give me just for ONE time the thing I'm trusting him on. *stomps my foot, harder and harder* Come on ABBA, let me see it once, just once. And he says to me, "I have and you are blind"
*sighs* I don't know any more. I've let this tear me from the inside out. In and out I go from the self torture I'm so well at doing to myself. And just being Abba to prove me once to be right. Or is it wrong. LOL UGH...ok, this turn out as well as I had it planned in my head. Oh, well....
2 comments:
got no easy answers. how about "God, it's your headache now and i'm going to trust that you won't screw me over for giving it to you to handle."
i feel creepy even suggesting that this is the right thing for you to do, because i have no idea what is the right thing for you to do. just saying that's what i did once. i'll find out someday if it was the "right" thing to do.
peace,
YOH, woman, you are within an hour of me. EMAIL ME so we can get together
wilsford@hotmail.com
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