Broken Hearted

What do you do when your heart has finally just broken into pieces and you look at God and you wonder....

God, when do I feel the pride of feeling as though I'm winning, that all the things I brought to you were worth EVERYTHING. That for once I laid my head down, because I was so tired and I wake up and what have you done? Why me, why this life? Why now? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where did you go? I look at what I thought were your feet and its trash bags and what I thought was your thrown is a dumpster. What did you have me wake up to? I look to my right and my enemy is living in the green pastor, safe from harm, safe from the bad things. I look to my left and my friend, is so blessed. They have the love they wanted, they have the security you promised. I look dead center and Lord, what have I awoken to? What is this place? Why didn't you place me on the left or why didn't you place me in the right? Why here? This isn't the life I signed up for.

So I sit here with my heart broken, torn, and I'm lost. I wonder if my life will be the same or if it will be some strange life outside of what I was told I deserved in "church". I'm sure to my enemy and my friend I look shameful and they would be right I feel shameful. At the same time I feel pride. I feel honored in my hell. I just wonder, will God stop for a moment and notice me? Will he stop for a moment and give me the blessing? Or will my life continue to be the one I didn't sign up for? OR can I stop the madness, take the merry-go-round and turn it another way? I think I might. I'm tired of spinning.

Am I?

Am I not a Christian if I don't confess or speak God's name so many times a day?

Am I not a Christian if I don't step foot into a door of a "church" every Sunday?

Am I not a Christian if I don't keep myself in some sort of bible study?

Am I not a Christian if I take a step and realize I became God, so therefore I keep silent?

Am I not a Christian if I see God in things that aren't "typical"?

Am I not a Christian if I'm not daily speaking against things "Christians" have deemed evil?

Just some questions as of late.

Ok, So Props To Be Given

I hadn't been to liquidthinking in awhile. I decided to go and see what the guys were up to. See if they could rattle my chain, which if you know them, they are normally good at doing so. HA Anyway, to my surprise they had props to Rick Warren. I almost fell out of my chair, but they had a link to an interview he did on ABC's Nightline. Its worth the watch and I have to say, I liked what Mr. Warren had to say. Yes, that just came out of MY mouth. ;) Check it out. Rick Warren interview

Hoping

I keep hoping unkymoods is going to come back. LOL I probably should delete the template for it, but I can't bring myself to do so. LOL

Another Music MUST!

Please look up KT Tunstall. Its another must. I "happened" on her one morning. I watched her perform and I was taken. Amazing. Her song "Black Horse And The Cherry Tree" is something you'll want to download. :) You won't regret it.

Marketing Christianity 102

Just when you think things have gone from bad to worse they get hellish. I have been getting up ealier the past couple of weeks. Making myself get into a routine, eating breakfast, have a cup o' Joe, and being more overall ready for the day. Part of that has been watching the news. Today I wanted to watch The Early Show because I like watching Survivor and they always have the "newest castoff". So I watch that and they show a promo for the next half hour. In the promo they showed they were going to have a report on "faith based vacations". Well, my interest wasn't peeked I should say, it was annoyed, SO I decided to watch. HA
Well, can I just say we have now entered from "Christian Marketing 101" and class you have moved up to "Christian Market 102". I think we have all heard of the theme park in Florida The Holy Land Experience. (if not click on the name)Apparently their numbers are up and looking to get even more popular. Well, what can I say about that. Not whole lot that none of y'all might not be thinking already. I just watched in wide eyed annoyance and then at the end I scramed and threw a pillow at the screen. This brings me to my full on annoyance and to our class. Apparently there is a Christian Organization that is in Isreal and in talks with Isreal to making a theme park by the Sea of Galilee. You know where Jesus walked on water. Now I just did a look up and my heart is now racing, our "fair" Mr. Pat Robertson is behind this. Click here to read about it.

Guys, when are we going to get it? This honestly makes me want to pound something. I honestly keep seeing this picture of God and Jesus being raped by Pat Robertson and others. How DARE we!!!! How DARE they!!!! Is God so unholy to us that we now have taken it to this? My God forgive us. I mean the I have so many words on this and right now I can't even bring them all together, but to say this is disgusting. I'm ashamed, I'm embarrassed and I'm angry. I'm angry that we have made this culture, I'm angry that we have made God a joke, I'm angry that Christians these days are trying to find ways to market God and make Him unholy, every day, and so many other things. Demons tremble and what do we do? We tremble at ways to market Him. How DARE we....