So right now I'm homesick. It just hit me out of no where. I miss home. So much I never thought about. Crazy things. Like I miss walking around Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart just isn't the same up here. I miss going to Joe Muggs and desiring a new book at Book-A-Million. I miss the people. Crap I miss my boss that got under my skin. I miss calling up friends and just hanging out. How I wish that I could find a nitch. This is the nitch I want: a nitch with a husband,book reader,but seems to have a problem with finishing them,a Beth Moore lover, a music lover,lots of laughter, and just peace. A nitch where you can say what is on your mind and you don't have to worry about it going any further. I guess the nitch I want is home. Who knew that I would miss Arkansas so much. Anyway,enough of this. Things are getting better just got hit! :P Well that is it for tonight. Latta!!!!!!!!!

I want to say I'm sorry to you. I'm sorry for not seeing who you are and what you need. I'm sorry for giving you milk when your desire has been meat. I'm sorry that I have dumbed you down to where you can't even walk on your own. I shouldn't have kept those training wheels on so long. I'm sorry that I used you. I just thought I needed to do something. I mean I'm supposed to do ministry. I mean I can't help if you are a teenager and I have to reach you at all cost. So what that I marketed to you. I mean it didn't hurt you that bad. Did it? We got you alot of friends, what 300 of them? I'm sorry those 300 friends didn't minister to you. I'm sorry that you don't know what you are going to do now your in college. But hey, weren't those candles and couches cool.........oh.......I guess not. I'm sorry I just needed to do something. I'm sorry. I guess I was too busy with 299 kids to realize that you weren't happy and needed help. I just had all these great books with ideas, I just knew I needed to use them. Listen, I'm sorry. I forgot the purpose of it all. I'm sorry that I let you down. Can you forgive me.......what is your name again?

So I haven't been faithful lately. Just wondering when I will feel normal again? When does this feeling of being out of place go away? My marriage is fine. We do it some road blocks here and there but we make it threw just fine. I'm just not me. I'm just not with it. Oh,God I have lost You. Help me get a schedule. Help focous me............